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Английские короткие анекдоты

В разделе представлены английские шутки и анекдоты на разнообразные темы.

Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.

Customer: Excuse me, but I saw your thumb in my soup when you were carrying it.
Waitress: Oh, that's okay. The soup isn't hot.

The real estate agent says, "I have a good, cheap apartment for you."

The man replies, "By the week or by the month?"

The agent answers, "By the garbage dump."

Bank Teller: How do you like the money?
English Student: I like it very much.

"Why do you take baths in milk?"

"I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower."

Customer in a restaurant: I would like to have a plate of rice and a piece of fried chicken and a cup of coffee.
Waitress: Is it enough Sir?
Customer: What? Do you think I can't buy more?

"You look very funny wearing that belt."

"I would look even funnier if I didn't wear it."

"I was born in California."

"Which part?"

"All of me."

"Excuse me. Do you know the way to the zoo?"

"No, I'm sorry I don't."

"Well, it's two blocks this way, then one block to the left."

В разделе устойчивые выражения представлено большое количество идиоматических, устойчивых, сленговых выражений, фразовых глаголов, пословиц и поговорок, с примерами и пояснениями. Общее количество выражений - несколько тысяч.